Friday, 31 October 2008

The Vernacular

A've jist been hame fur a few days an' A cannae git back tae talking the wey A dae usually whin A'm ma normal sel doon here in London. Disnae take mair than an oor back whaur A came fae afore A stert soondin like ma faither. An' noo A cannae fuckin stoap it. Gie's a break, ay?

Homeward Bound

Home where my thought's escaping,
Home where my music's playing,
Home where my love lies waiting
Silently for me.

On my way home, over the border and all the way down the east coast of England by train, to my man and my cats! Have had a splendid time, more of which - perhaps - later. For the moment, my main concern is that a character from some CreatureFeature has come to sit beside me. He hasn't had a bath in a very long time. His apparel is totally post-Holocaust, down to the oddly Guns-n-Roses bandana he wears. He bends his head to within a few inches of my laptop screen when he sees something that interests him on the monitor. He also just took out a block of cheddar, the size of half a house brick, and knife about eight inches long to cut it. Maybe he's on the Atkins Diet too! It's going to be an interesting journey. Still, I'm having an M&S tinned gin and tonic for breakfast, so that will help with any social awkwardness. Unfortunately there should have been a second refreshing G&T too but I seem to have left it in my sister's fridge.

Scary neighbour was charming when I asked him to let me squeeze past and go to the toilet. He moved his dozen plastic bags with great care and infinite slowness. He's now asleep and sprawled over his seat and half of mine, muttering got three of them and midget. He isn't at all keen on that "midget". Earlier, he was explaining loudly to himself that "they" dry out ordinary teabags and inject them. With what, I wonder? We may never know. I'm not waking him up to find out.

Instead, I shall marvel at how pretty this stretch of the Berwickshire coastline is and take pictures on my phone since I have broken Queer Royale's camera.
KX asap, please!

Thursday, 30 October 2008

And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye

Family fun and frolics last night, with the traditional bucketloads of alcohol. Baby sister and I sat up till 3, putting the world to rights. Had a great time looking through her old photo albums. Several pictures of a party she was at twenty five years ago or so and devilishly handsome chap in several of them. I quite fancied him. Then realised, with a shock, that he was me. By Jove, I was a shag in my youth! I tell people that all the time but I'm not sure I really believed it till now. I certainly didn't believe it then. Happy times though! Happier in retrospect, perhaps, when all the Angst and wrong-turn-relationships are in the distant past and the messy detail forgotten. Hope one of my geekette nieces will scan and upload the old photos.

I would like to take some photos of the splendid view of woodlands I have here from my sister's (rather chilly, have to say) sitting room window. Or perhaps a pic of her big handsome dog, asleep at my side. Sadly, having been entrusted with Queer Royale's second best camera, I used it to take a couple of blurry shots from the train yesterday and have since broken it, I think. Crap with gadgets and machines, me.

My younger niece, who used to be the noisiest and messiest girl on the block, has become a bit of a Hausfrau and had done a great job of tidying up her room for me, changing bedsheets etc. I was impressed and slept like a baby, although I was wide awake by the time she and her big sister were getting up and out to school. I seem to have become infected with Queer Royale's inability to sleep more than five hours at a stretch. Here at Château Soeur Cadette, there's the complication of a big dog and two sleek Siamese joining me in the bed, which is actually quite a treat. Reminds me of when our own cats were kittens and they would sleep in the bed with us.

So, the plan for today is to have shower in the en suite when my sister's up and about and then will go to meet my parents for lunch in town. Will be a job getting my Dad into his wheelchair and out of the house but a welcome adventure for him. No plans for after that, although I have suggested to my sister that she might help me buy a frock to wear to Liverpool is Burning*. I'm planning to achieve a (slightly ursine) Jackie O look that might fit either Retrosexual or Femme Realness categories. I'll have to sashay with style because Queer Royale is intending to be my (Kid Creole) pimp for the night, in his loud shoes and sharp hat. All I have collected of my outfit thus far is the shoes, so I better crack on! Coming back to the scene of my tortured, closeted adolescence has given me the urge to be as queer as humanly possible!

*Link to Simon Strange explaining what vogueing is, as he wears an attractive hair slide to demonstrate femme realness. Bless. The Cuteness of Being Earnest.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

And I’ll tak’ the low road

Decided to go back to the Land of Mountain and Flood to see my family. Got up in good time to pack shirts and underwear and take a crowded rush hour tube to KX. My lovely partner never looks lovelier than when I'm about to leave him! Especially when he's wearing his lovely white Liberty dressing gown and struggling with my instructions as to how to turn off the washing machine and extricate the clothes. But, when you're a dome-brained intellectual, why would you concern yourself with such trivia? I'm sure he will be fine, but I do worry. Hope he remembers to feed the cats, at least.

So, to KX for the Hogwarts Express, quickly round M&S to buy their handy little tinned G&Ts and some other tasty low carbohydrate snacks (since there will no gym for some days...) Soon as I left London, the world went WHITE! Snow filled fields and little frosted English towns. Like travelling by train from Moscow up to Leningrad, when that was still its name. Unfortunately, when we got to Peterborough, someone got on to sit beside me but that's OK. He seems like a nerdy scientist from all the visible signs and isn't encroaching upon my space.

Once again I marvel that, after a whole year of relatively miserable commuting up and down on the East Coast line before my move to London, things are so much improved! I have my mac plugged into a power source and free wifi. I have Series 4 of Lost to enjoy. Life is good and I am childishly excited by the train travel, despite taking short train rides to work and back most days. There's a four year old boy still lurking at the heart of me.

UPDATE: Broken down train ahead. Means unscheduled stop at fragrant, appetising Doncaster and a detour via Leeds. Going to be two hours late getting to the Gathering of the MacBear Clan. Will give the wine a chance to breathe before I get there...